You wake up already behind.
There’s school to manage, work piling up, a messy kitchen, a tantrum waiting to explode, and that quiet guilt whispering—
“You’re not doing enough.”
If this sounds familiar, let me say something simple but powerful:
You’re not broken.
You’re just parenting in the hardest time in history.
Let me show you why.
Why This Generation of Parents Has It the Hardest
You were raised in a simpler world.
No YouTube algorithms shaping your thoughts.
No performance anxiety from comparing with filtered lives on social media.
You didn’t have to Google “What to do when my teen says they hate me.”
But now?
You’re up against:
- Constant digital distraction.
- Fragmented families with no support.
- A culture that demands you be a full-time employee, full-time parent, full-time peacekeeper, and full-time role model.
And in the middle of all this—
You’re expected to raise “polite, focused, respectful” children.
The Burnout Is Real—And Measurable
In many homes, one parent ends up bearing the entire emotional and logistical burden—especially when there’s a disconnect between how each parent approaches child-rearing. If one is overly concerned and the other is emotionally absent, the imbalance becomes unbearable.
Trying to meet every expectation—at work, at home, in society—pushes parents into invisible burnout. You don’t even realize it until your patience thins out, your body breaks down, or you find yourself emotionally snapping at your child for something small.
The American Psychological Association has found that parents who internalize perfectionist standards are far more likely to experience emotional exhaustion, detachment, and feelings of inadequacy. It’s not laziness—it’s cognitive overload.
Why Rude Talkback Isn’t Personal
When a child lashes out, it cuts deep—especially after years of sacrifice, love, and effort. But it’s essential to know this: it isn’t about you.
Teenagers often say hurtful things because their emotional brain is in overdrive while their rational brain is still under construction. Their prefrontal cortex, the part responsible for emotional regulation and foresight, isn’t fully developed.
I remember one Sunday, I was too tired to take my kids to the park and suggested our driver take them instead. My daughter snapped, “Why don’t we make the driver our father then?” It wasn’t about the park. It was her way of saying, “You matter to me. I don’t want a substitute—I want you.”
That moment hit me hard, but it taught me something priceless. Children don’t value the activity—they value who they’re doing it with.
Studies show that children are highly sensitive to their parents’ emotional availability. When we’re distracted, drained, or distant, they interpret it as disinterest—even if we’re just exhausted.
When Your Child Says “Okay” But Does Whatever They Want
Many parents feel a slow erosion of trust when their child pretends to cooperate but quietly rebels.
This pattern—where a child nods, agrees, and then completely ignores the agreement—is a common resistance behavior. It’s not always calculated; it’s survival. Especially if the parent is emotionally intense, overly controlling, or frequently nagging, the child learns how to escape conflict without engaging in it.
But this fakeness leaves the parent more confused and exhausted. You thought there was an agreement. You hoped this time would be different. And then you feel invisible again.
Why Fewer Rules Work Better
When my kids turned 8 and 10, I realized something. The more rules I imposed, the more resistance I created. So I kept only two:
- They couldn’t leave the house alone.
- They had to do daily mind priming and Chitta Yoga.
That was it.
Homework? Not my battle.
Grades slipping from A to B? Not my crisis.
Because if everything is urgent, nothing is sacred.
I focused on the two things that mattered most to me: physical safety and mental discipline. And because I wasn’t micromanaging the rest, my children respected those two boundaries far more.
This is supported by parenting psychology: when rules are few, firm, and consistent, they carry more emotional and behavioral weight.
The Beliefs That Push Parents to the Edge
One of the most dangerous ideas we carry is this: If I try harder, I’ll finally be the parent I want to be.
But parenting isn’t a gym. You don’t build results by grinding harder. You build results by knowing where to stop, what to prioritize, and how to conserve emotional energy.
Another myth? That a child’s bad behavior reflects your failure. It doesn’t. Children aren’t your report card. They’re separate beings with their own brain chemistry, environment, and emotional storms.
And the most subtle trap: thinking that saying “no” will make your child hate you.
In truth, they’ll forget the things you didn’t buy them.
But they will remember the time you didn’t give them.
The Sunday you sent someone else. The moment you looked at your phone instead of their face.
That’s what stays.
Why It’s So Hard to Feel Okay (Even When You’re Trying)
Let’s acknowledge the pressure:
- Social media feeds you curated perfection every day.
- Your parents criticize you for being too lenient—or too harsh.
- Schools expect top marks.
- Your colleagues seem to have it all figured out.
- And your child sometimes behaves like you’re the villain in their story.
The Family Stress Model shows that financial pressure, emotional fatigue, and unresolved marital tension spill directly into parenting. And when you’re not okay, your child feels it—even if you never say a word.
What Actually Matters
You are not your child’s grades.
You are not their defiance.
You are not their perfect day planner.
You are their anchor.
And anchors don’t shout.
They hold.
So hold a few rules.
Hold your own sanity.
Hold the line when it counts.
But let go of the rest.
Make time sacred.
Make peace your strategy—not your reward.
Your child doesn’t need a perfect parent.
They need a real one.
Ninad Sharma
P.S. You’re exhausted because you care—and that’s not a flaw.
The problem isn’t your parenting.
It’s the culture, the overload, the lack of support, and the constant guilt.
P.P.S. Let go of what’s unnecessary. Focus on what’s true.
You’re likely doing better than you think.
