Understanding Personality: Where it Comes From and Why It’s Not Permanent

This article discusses personality, where it comes from and whether it is changeable or permanently fixed.

What do we mean by “personality”?

First, let us clarify “personality” in our Indian context. In some parts of the country, a person’s body structure, height, and muscle tone are what we commonly refer to as their personality.

However, “personality” refers to the collection of thoughts, actions, beliefs, attitudes, and reactions that make up a person’s general nature.

Having cleared that, let us move to another question.

What is the source of a person’s personality?

The above question asks from where our nature and behaviour come.

Essentially, what we see as a person’s personality, is the outcome of the connections of their brain cells (called neurons). These connections start forming from the time a child takes birth and continue to develop with every new experience that a person encounters.

A large part (but not all) of a child’s neural pathways get formed up to the age of 5-6 years, and by this time, one can predict the overall nature of this young person will look like.

This fact brings us to the question if personality is indeed decided by age 6, is our child’s fate sealed? Will they benefit or lose from how their mind got shaped in the initial years of their life?

Thankfully not.

What causes a child’s personality to change?

There are several reasons why a 12-year-old child behaves differently than when they were five.

In the case of growing kids, biology (growing bodies, changing brain structure) and access to addictive influences ( mobiles, games, fast food) play a role. Also, as they receive new experiences from the world around them, their brain forms new neural patterns to help them navigate and cope.

Such new situations could be becoming conscious amongst friends, experiencing difficulties in a particular subject, or other instances.

As adults, our personalities do not change much because as we age, the number of new experiences our brain receives gets fewer and fewer. As a result, a popular myth has formed around people’s nature.

The Myth Around Personality Being Permanent.

Contrary to popular belief, changing one’s personality is more straightforward than people think. Just like we can behave differently in different situations, changing unhelpful personality traits into positive ones is possible.

Our brains are highly “plastic” – a technical way to say that they are very flexible and can change dramatically and at any age.

Whenever the brain receives the correct input, it is fast and easy to change any personality trait, whether it is removing laziness, improving focus or reducing anger or anything else.

Atul’s Case

Take Atul’s example. He was easily irritated with his mother whenever she asked him to study. However, after two weeks of using the right tools to alter his mindset, Atul’s behaviour improved dramatically. He could learn more effectively without getting frustrated.

In one of my other articles, I share some simple and practical techniques for bringing more helpful personality traits to your child. Refer to the techniques shared, try them for yourself or help your child practice those and see the effects.

And in conclusion, whether you want to change certain aspects of your personality or help your child study and behave better, there is only good news. All changes are possible, fast and easy once you understand how the brain generates our personality and how to change it.