When kids score below 60%, parents are all but giving up hope about their child.
And quite rightly so.
There is a large gap between how much their child is scoring and where they need to reach. This leads to parents becoming discouraged and starting to think of the bare minimum scores that their child will get.
But as I share the story of Nimesh, you can feel very hopeful about your child’s prospects and his/her future. But first let us talk about…
Misleading Marketing
Advertisements of various schools, coaching institutes or toppers of competitive exams, only talk of the very few that have done exceptionally well.
And while parents of kids that are struggling to study see and want to believe this advertising, some of them have a nagging thought at the back of their heads that goes like “this kid might have achieved great things, but my child will never achieve this.”
This is a natural thought process of any parent whose child deals with distractions, mobile addiction and poor scores.
And while it would seem wrong to suggest some magical transformation of their child to these parents, the truth is that…
Before Big Achievements Come Small Victories
Nimesh’s story is not of topping the school or winning some prestigious award. It is a story of making a small but significant progress.
During the Covid pandemic, Nimesh lost a loved one, and even though his mother is a teacher herself, the child would just not study. He would easily get angry, be buried in mobile games all day long, and would not attend school.
His mother tried all sorts of things such as seeking help from teachers, homeschooling, pleading at times, and being strict at times. But nothing worked. That is when she approached us.
Study Problems May Have Many Complex Reasons
The common (and wrong) explanation of a child’s struggle with studies ranges from being lazy or irresponsible to just not interested in studies.
The truth however is often different and has multiple angles. And therefore, like any good program to help study issues, we start with a diagnostic process.
When we did the diagnostics for Nimesh, we found that he was dealing with different challenges that often do not meet the eye and the connection is not visible.
For the purpose of keeping this article short, I am writing the diagnosis in points.
- Issue 1: Shyness, lack of confidence and finding escape in digital world.
- Excessive use of mobile and TV which came from his inability to make friends.
- Shyness and lack of confidence led to not asking questions in class, not making friends and feeling bored and lonely.
- Being shy, he was teased by other, aggressive kids which made him avoid going to school.
- Issue 2: Overuse of mobile and feeling lonely made it hard to focus and concentrate.
- Some people, when deprived of something – whether it is relaxation, social contact or positive encouragement- and whether they know it or not, would want to fulfil these needs through other means.
- The same was happening to Nimesh and this was taking his focus away, making it hard for him to pay attention in class and sit for long during studies.
- Issue 3: Avoiding studies and finding learning really hard.
- The above two issues then make it hard for him to learn and therefore cause an avoidance of studies altogether.
- This would also cause fear and panic during exams, further reducing his ability to reproduce what he had learnt.
- Issue 4: Anger, frustration and rude behaviour
- Inability to learn and the awareness of his poor scores was already known to Nimesh. But he did not know what was causing these issues and how to solve them.
- This naturally made him frustrated with himself and therefore not able to behave well with his family, causing fights and even more loneliness.
As you may be able to see from above, there are a number of hidden factors that can contribute to a child not being able to study.
43% To 79% In 11 Weeks
By identifying the challenges he was facing, we were able to use advanced emotional retraining technique of mind priming along with counselling to help Nimesh (and his mom) transform the situation.
Here is proof.
His Scores Before The Program:
His Scores After 11 Weeks:
Having gained confidence in his abilities, Nimesh aims to score 95%+ in his 10th boards. We believe that he will achieve this. What a change would that make to his future prospects!
Here is a message from his mom from the day before yesterday.
Feel Hopeful About Your Child’s Future Scores
Here’s what we can learn from Nimesh’s case:
- Even low performing students have the ability to do much better – no matter what their past scores.
- Most study problems are not problems of teachers, schools, or facilities – most problems kids face are emotional problems like a lack of confidence and hurtful past events that do not let them study or be motivated.
- And finally – and you may dislike my saying this – there is a clear role of parents in the child’s success. Many schools and tutors will tell you that they alone can fix the problem – but that is mostly because they don’t know what real issue a child is facing.
What Can Parents Do To Help Their Child?
While emotional retraining requires specialisation in psychology, there are steps that parents can take to improve the situation.
Have Empathy For Your Child
No matter what their current behaviour or performance is, it is important to recognise that they don’t engage in these behaviours willingly.
Be Confident As Parents
While some parents engage in physical beatings, insulting or threatening the child ( stop doing that immediately if you have been) , most parents make little or no mistakes in parenting. It is certain aspects of how the brain functions that lead some kids to have study issues.
Look Outside Regular Solutions
If a few teachers or schools that you have tried have not fixed the study issues, then avoid doing more of the same. The problem is not in the teacher or the school.
I hope you feel inspired by this story – and whenever you need help with resolving study or behaviour related problems of your child, reach out to us. There are no quick fixes, but with the right tools, we may be able to help you solve issues that have persisted for a long time.
Take care
Ninad Sharma
