Some parents wonder why their child is not performing as well academically or socially. There are often hidden (or not recognized) factors that affect the child’s performance, behavior and conduct.

I want to keep this precise for you and so here is the list. In the end, I have some advice on what to do about these.

1. Lack Of Sleep

Lack of proper sleep is one of the biggest obstacles. It affects focus, mood, and overall ability to perform well in studies.

2. Criticism, Ridicule, Comparisons

Anything that would make you feel bad will also make your child feel bad. Children can’t do things well when they’re feeling bad.

3. Micromanagement By Parents

Everyone hates micromanagement. Some parents tend to control everything their child does—how they eat, sleep, wear clothes, etc.—and this may make the child feel frustrated and overwhelmed.

4. Overprotectiveness

Yes, our kids are precious to us, but keeping them overprotected can make them feel like a fish in an aquarium: safe, secure, well-fed, and totally suffocated.

5. Parental Expectations

The pressure to perform well can cause more harm than good. For some kids, more pressure leads to poorer performance.

6. Super-Busy Schedules

Children today are overbooked with activities, leaving no space for rest or self-reflection.

7. Lost Confidence And Self-Belief

Once confidence is lost, it can be very difficult for children to pick themselves up again, affecting their motivation and willingness to try.

8. Shyness And Inability To Make Friends

This unmet social need can push kids towards online interactions instead of in-person, healthy friendships.

9. Past Failure

Past failures can haunt children and prevent them from believing they can succeed in the future.

10. Parental Stress

When parents are stressed or angry, their child may also feel it. This can impact the child’s ability to function well.

11. Being Taunted By Siblings Or A Parent

Being taunted, especially by someone close, can have a long-lasting negative impact. Some parents or siblings may taunt a child, while others support them—it’s important to encourage the taunting one to stop.

12. Fights Between Parents

Frequent or intense fights between parents may make children feel unsafe and insecure, disrupting their sense of stability.

13. Gossip About Your Child

Some parents may talk negatively about their child behind their back, but the child will eventually hear about it, which can break their heart.

14. Physical Punishment

Physical punishment can seriously damage a child’s confidence and their relationship with their parents. Even animals stop responding to physical beatings after a while.

15. Easy Access To Devices

Devices provide easy distraction, and it’s hard for children to resist. Their study time often gets replaced with screen time.

16. Lack Of Playing Space And Time

Play is crucial for mental and physical health. Without enough space or time, kids miss out on this vital part of their development.

17. Tuitions As A Replacement For Self-Study

Parents often start tuitions when their child avoids self-study. Remember, tuitions are not a replacement for self-driven learning.

18. An Angry Or Biased Teacher

Some teachers bring personal problems to work, affecting how they treat students. Speaking politely to the teacher can help change their behavior towards your child.

19. Parents Not Giving Time Except For Studies

When parents only focus on their child’s studies, the child may feel they have no value beyond academic performance. Imagine how it would feel if your spouse valued you only for your income or housework.

20. Parents Favoring Others Over Them

Some parents may favor others over their children, which can hurt their confidence and make them feel neglected.

Look, I understand that parenting in the modern world is challenging. So go easy on yourself and take it one step at a time.

If you can relate to any of these, just focus on one. Perhaps you can spend more time with your child during weekends when it’s not about work or studies, or maybe give them at least an hour of non-screen playtime.

If you can, then write back to me and share which of these you found most relevant for your child. If it’s something outside the list, then share that too. 

Regards,

Ninad Sharma,

Lead Coach,

Study Focus for Teens (by Better Mind Institute).