Whenever a child cannot study or behave properly, it is common amongst some parents to blame themselves, fate, their genes or some other reason society professes.

I commonly hear things like “I am not parenting my child right”, “it is my bad luck that my child has these weaknesses”, “it is due to our family’s genes”, or some other prevalent (but misguided) reasons popularised in society or media. But the truth is that it’s not the fault of the parents or their genes.

Understanding the Root Cause of Behavior

To know the root cause, we must understand that a child’s habits, behaviour and actions come from the mind, the unique combination of neural pathways in your child. This network of neurons runs our body’s functions, but more importantly, it gives us our actions, reactions, and mindset.

How the Mind Shapes Our Behavior

Except for some instincts, the mind is almost empty when a child is born. As the child grows, the mind learns from the child’s life experiences – especially negative ones. Why negative ones, you may ask? Because the primary purpose of the brain is to protect us physically and emotionally.

So, for example, when a child finds math difficult repeatedly, the mind creates a block about learning Math. Or when a teacher is too harsh with a child, the child develops a dislike for school or studying in general.

Innumerable instances like these create unproductive mind patterns such as laziness, dislike of studies, lack of confidence, etc.

The Mind Decides Everything in Our Life

Because we run our brains, and the brain operates using neural connections (like a computer runs using software). Simply put, the mind decides everything in our lives.

It’s important to understand that the mind is not just one thing but a complex system of interacting neural pathways. And just like any other system, it can be optimised for better performance. The good news is that we can reshape our minds for positive changes.

How to reshape Reshaping Your Child’s Mind for Positive Changes

Understanding the role of the mind in shaping our behaviour is crucial for parents to help children develop productive mind patterns.

By understanding the root cause of the behaviour, we can take steps to reshape it for positive changes. Here are some ways you can do it:

• Identify unproductive mind patterns: Look for instances where your child repeatedly struggles or fails in a specific area, and dig down into what is causing the issue. For example, when a child is avoiding studies, the most common (and often wrong) diagnosis is “laziness”. The real reason could be difficulty understanding the subject, fear of a particular teacher or anxiety. Parents would do well to give empathetic listening to their child to dig in and discover the real issue.
• Build new, positive neural pathways: Using imagery for visualisation and positive phrases for affirmations, your child can start to reprogram unhealthy patterns to positive ones. Encourage them to repeatedly say positive affirmations such as “Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better”. Help them visualise acting differently the next time they are in a similar situation. Slowly, with some practice and help from you, you can start noticing changes.
• Acknowledge small successes: And finally, remember to acknowledge your child for small victories because little progress leads to more significant achievements and builds confidence.

In conclusion, understanding the root cause of your child’s behaviour is crucial for parents to help children develop productive mind patterns. By understanding the role of the mind in shaping our behaviour, we can take steps to reshape it for positive changes.